My Delhi Memoirs

My Delhi Memoirs

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being married to a defence officer is like a travelogue for me...seeing places, tasting different cuisines and learning varied cultures ; all these have been eye opening and interesting experiences for me.

One such posting was to New Delhi, a place I had always been warned about, for its notoriety ,pollution and aggressiveness. Having lived in Mumbai for most of my married years ,the word aggression did not make any sense to me because, however ambitious a Mumbaikar is, an aggressive streak is not something you would witness in them. Anyways, as we landed in Delhi, the first thing that struck me was the cleaniness and the beauty of the city. Every street was lined with flowers of various shapes, sizes and colours and in spite of the concrete jungle that Delhi was, there was enough greenery to soothe your senses. The vehicles were on a fast lane and organised ,even though there were times when you were counting the number of planks on the dividers on either side of the road, because you had nothing else to do stuck in a jam!!

The food lovers that we are, finding the locations of the best restaurants came easy to us. Be it Italian, Chinese or Japanese or for that matter the cuisines from the various states of our country, were relished with great fervour and enthusiasm. A visit to the Andhra Bhavan or the Orissa Bhavan was a must every Sunday. ‘Gun Powder’ at Haus Khas village ,the Manipuri stall at Dilli Haat ,’Gulatis’ at Pandara road, Saravana Bhavan at Janpath were  some of the favourite meeting places with friends and family alike. Driving all the way to India gate to have your ice creams after dinner  was yet another ‘looked forward’ to activities.

And when the travel bug bites , you embrace it. Driving in and around Delhi, with the sole intention of seeing and capturing the beauty of the places was one of our major pass times. A road trip which brings back so many fond memories was through the state of Rajasthan; the climb to the Amber fort in Jaipur, a walk through the by lanes of the Fort of Jaisalmer, a camel ride on the Thar desert,a visit to the palace of the Jodhpur Royal family, praying at the Ajmer Dargah, shopping for Bandhinis...experiencing the flavour and colour of Rajasthan through its cuisines, textiles and people. 

The drive to Kasauli in Himachal Pradesh ,with friends, during peak winter ,was another one of our adventurous trips. The amazement on our faces on seeing the ‘Taj Mahal’ and the ‘ Qutub Minar’ at close quarters, pictures of which we had seen only in our history text books, was a sight to see!! The birds and the beauty of nature at the Bharatpur Bird sanctuary was captivating. A drive through the mustard fields and stopping at road side Dhabas for 'hot aloo parathas' was just so enjoyable.Yet another feather in our caps was a visit to the Dalai Lama’s monastery in Dharamsala. The Nehru Park ,the historic Railway Museum and The Lodhi gardens were some of the lazing picnic and photography points on a Sunday.

 Shopping in the malls has never been my cup of tea.But Delhi has enough of street shopping  to satiate your appetite for clothes , jewellery and footwear...and of course street food like the different chaats ,chole baturey ,aloo tikkis and various kinds of delicious ‘pakode’,for which Delhi is famous for. The shopping arcade ,Khan market also catered for the ‘serious up market shoppers’ alike!

I can go on and on about my exciting time in the Capital city. But what I have realised is that there is much more to the city than the above mentioned ‘goodies’. Delhi has  so much history associated with her which gives her a unique character. Its one of the most visited cities in India and we ,as a family,still have so many places and spots to see ,which will give us more insight into the culture and history of this beautiful ancient city. Hoping for a miracle and longing to come back to Delhi...Some one has truly said ~ “ Dilli dil waalon ki hai”...yes I have fallen in love with her and yearning to embrace more of her beauty!!..

Temple Tales

As children , going to a temple garnered a lot of excitement at home. The first thought would be what do I wear ...should I wear a long pavada (a traditional full length skirt worn by young girls in South India) or just a ‘midi skirt’, which translates into a knee length skirt and what are the accessories that would go along with it...the very fact that one goes to a temple to pray and seek God’s blessings was secondary...our primary aim was  dressing up...and I seriously hope my daughters do not read this because I reprimand them for the very same reason with statements like,’’ one goes to a temple to pray.. .it is not a ramp walk...God isn’t  bothered  about what you wear, it is your faith that matters...etc etc.’’...and they would be sniggering and rolling their eyes behind my back, silently mouthing blah blah blah....!!

Anyways  getting back to my child hood, there would be a  scramble between my older sister and I as to who would get first to the most brightly coloured  pavada in the almirah and amidst the fisticuffs and pushing and pulling, I would always win, much to my sister’s  dismay!!...and worse still, I always fit into her clothes...as we grew up and went to the same college, it was a written rule at home that we would not touch each other’s clothes and by God if one of us broke that ‘blood coded rule’, there was mayhem at home!!..come to think of it, I get a dose of flashback every time  my two grown up girls fight for the same obnoxious looking top and even though I am giving them my most exasperated looks accompanied by loud sighs, I  am smiling to myself and enjoying the scene!!...yet again hope they are not reading this.

The early morning waking up and taking a cold shower were the biggest sacrifices I made those days to go to a temple, which was most of the time the ‘Guruvayoor  Sri Krishna Temple’ (one of the biggest and richest temples in the south of India ) in my home town   Trichur...but it was all worth it because we knew what awaited us once we got there..no, please do not be mistaken..it wasn’t the ‘divine calling or the sanctity ‘of the temple ..it was a host of other exciting things....it was the bunch of ‘mulla poo’, the jasmine flowers , which we south Indians adorn our hair with, on all occasions...the strands of the mulla poo would be longer than the full length of our hair...sheepishly I must admit, I still look forward to that strand of ‘mulla poo’, even today...that’s the first thing I buy whenever  I visit the temple and surprisingly with the same child like excitement!!..the next good thing was the offerings at the temple, the white   butter  known as ‘venna’ lord Krishna’s  favourite food which was served along with panjasara and manja pazham ( powdered sugar and  small yellow bananas),which would be devoured in no time by all of us cousins...it was a different thing that we  were starving by then since we wouldn’t have eaten anything ...yes that is one more thing i had sacrificed ..I still do, but I don’t call it a sacrifice anymore, it is a choice I have made consciously!!

The  best part of our temple adventures was the paper roast dosas with the lip smacking sambar and chutney from  Indian Coffee House, which was the only ‘clean hotel’ those days in Guruvayoor!!...I still remember so well , the happiness , the wicked glee on our faces and the stifling of our giggles when our parents would go in the direction of the restaurants...aah we would do anything to get a taste of that treat and that was the only time we kids got to drink ‘kaapi’ (coffee) served in steel tumblers, otherwise it was always ‘maltova  or viva’(the health drinks of those days)...and unlike the children of today, we never complained about it, because we never had a choice...you either finish it or you don’t get your next meal!!...at that moment we were the best children in the neighbourhood!!...

We would end the day by buying shimmering gold, red and green glass bangles   with matching coloured dangling earrings and of course finger rings with Lord Krishna’s picture on it, which we were strictly  allowed to wear only during the school summer vacations...to my pleasant surprise, my daughters wanted one this time and to my utter shock, couldn’t find any decent one in any of the shops, which lined the street that  led to the temple...they were stacked with rings in various colours and pictures of actors!!..

I relived my childhood all over again  this  time  when  I visited the Guruvayoor  temple after a span of more than 3 long years..while walking towards the main nada, the area where the sanctum sanctorum  of the temple begins, bought ‘oru muzham mulla poo’, stood in  line and had the ‘venna  with the panjasara and pazham’ ,devoured the paper roast with sambar and chutney and even purchased a ring with Lord Krishna’s picture on it...My  husband and my daughters were quite amazed at my excitement  and  enthusiasm and my mother had that ‘’all knowing look’’ on her face...yes I behaved  because I would do anything to get a taste of that paper roast and kaapi!!!...

I do not know what it is and I am unable to explain the feeling, but the moment I set foot in Guruvayoor  temple, I  am transported  into a different world, a world filled with  so many timeless  beautiful memories, a world which revives my faith in God , a world which makes you happy and free again..I am constantly asking myself what is it that makes me want to go back there again and again...and I am still looking for an answer to that!!!

''MUMBAI MERI JAAN''..

It was in 1992 that i took the bold but exciting  step of moving out from the comfortable confines of my home town to move into the big mad city of Mumbai. Mumbai,then Bombay ,was a totally unknown city for me of which I had seen only in the movies. It was the land of Amitabh Bhachchan, Madhuri Dixit,Rekha and all those beautiful people..and that excited me as well..,I was setting up my first home as a married girl in this strange land. I say strange because I had never seen so many people gathered at one place at one time,ever before,like I witnessed as i looked out of the train..it did over whelm me at that time,a little scary too. I was travelling alone.The words of my uncles and aunts and my mother rang loudly in my ears..you have to be careful with your bag,do not go with anyone,wait till Srini comes to you,etc etc...now where was Srini!!!..I looked earnestly through the milling crowd to try and catch sight of him and i couldn’t..slightly nervous but mustering up courage,I stepped out on to the platform of the CST,then VT.and I must confess,i did feel a tingling sensation of thrill going through my body..I WAS IN BOMBAY!!!!....I had been looking forward to this day and that tingling sensation of excitement still flows through my body each time i step into Mumbai.

The city of Mumbai has always fascinated me and she has helped me in my transition from a small town girl to a bold and confident woman that I am today.I still remember the first time I went for a scooter ride with Srini on the Queen’s necklace.It was the month of December and there was a slight nip in the air..the cool winds from the sea blowing on my face and hair,the tall buildings moving past us,the salty fishy smell permeating through the air,which was heaven for me...that was the day I fell in love with her..the feeling of oneness i have for this magnificient city,I have never had with any other place..I belonged to Mumbai, still belong and will always belong!!!..”Mumbai meri Jaan”...

Like someone has said ,nobody who comes to Mumbai and lives in its true spirit has disliked nor regretted..and those who have left have mostly regretted..She will always be Amchi Mumbai for me!!

The Moon God..

Looking out of my window last night, saw the whole sky bathed in a glow..

Wondering what it was rushed out to see the most amazing sight I have ever seen..The Moon in his complete splendour..I say ‘his’ because ,according to Hindu mythology, the moon belongs to the male species..:)..and we women find him enticing!!

Thought of capturing the beauty in my camera..but I told myself, gaze at it long enough to click the image with your heart..and its still there in my pretty little head..

Being a cancerian,,and the moon being a prominent feature in my star ,I am told,I should have typically behaved in a strange manner at the sight..I simply watched him playing hide and seek with the dark clouds, his ethereal beauty spreading the talons of magical light all over. Down below the sea shimmered in the glow, the little dark waves excitedly rushing towards the land, the small boats bobbing up and down in absolute rhythm..the single tree on the edge of the cliff swaying in the wind like a belly dancer in a trance..

I remembered my beloved, wanted him to share the magical moment with me, called out to him and together we reminisced the beautiful divine times we had experienced, gazing at the moon, hands entwined..unmindful of everything around you, had eyes only for each other, enjoying the tranquility of the moments spent in each other's company..holding on to every second of being together...

He does it to me all the time..he turns me into a hopeless romantic every time I set my eyes on him, making my heart burst into flames of yearning and passion..waiting for those magical moments I want to cherish, leaning towards him with emotional fervor and wanting to surrender to him completely..Aah..My tender Moon God..:)..and yes its true, I do behave strangely in his presence!!

WHAT IS HAPPINESS..

Trying to figure out what is that makes me happy ..is it love..is it happiness of others..is it food..is it a new piece of jewellery you have been yearning for..or is it just the beautiful creatures in the universe..at times the very sight of the sunrise at 5 am gives me so much pleasure and there is a feeling of total submission to  nature. The moment I see my little adopted dog, coming towards me wagging his tail, my heart bursts with affection !!..When my babies hug me out of the blue, it makes me happy..they tell me.’’ Mom, you are the best’’, and I am elated..

But I am still searching for happiness and it makes me wonder why..what is that I am seeking?..dont I have everything I need..I have the best family around me who loves me unconditionally..I have my friends who truly care for me..I have my wonderful life to look forward to..so many more milestones to achieve..but there are moments when I feel utterly alone and my self esteem is at its worst..such low phases gets me thinking as to who I am ..what am I??..a seeker of happiness..dont everybody seek that pleasure..so whats so different in me..am I not being a normal human being,for whom peace of mind and a happy heart is all that matters.

I am a person who bottles up a lot inside me..when am sad and upset,I dont tell anyone,I cry in my own solitude...when am happy I don’t dance and sing,I laugh in my own solitude..when am angry,I don’t shout and scream..i just remain silent and most of the times my tears do the talking for me..again always in solitude..yes I do tend to get jealous  when I feel I don’t get the attention I deserve..and I am possessive about my loved ones..YES I AM A NORMAL WOMAN..:))

In every sense of the world,I always thought happiness is to love and to be loved..in life and love ,one tends to give more than what you get and there are  expectations and with that comes disappointments.. that’s when a bell rings in your ‘loony’ head..its time to move on and do what “make you happy’’..

To be happy in life,its very important to tie it to a goal ,not to people and things. A goal inspires and motivates you to achieve what makes you happy and with that comes contentment in life. Happiness depends on your inner disposition and can never be achieved by outside conditions..Happiness is always possible..at times we wait for it come along and take charge of your life..NO..you have to be open to happiness and for that sometimes you have to let go off somethings  you are holding onto, which you think will make you happy,but they don’t…I have found my own niche' in painting,which allows me to open up to a larger horizon in life,gets my creative outflow to attain peace.

Happiness is a conscious choice..people can be happy as much as their minds want to be..so I have decided to be open about lot of things in my life, be it love,or understanding or even hardships..everything happens in your life with a purpose..you fall in love with a purpose, you create a family, again its for a purpose..just realise being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect..we learn to be happy within the imperfections in our life..so why not learn to enjoy the little things that come your way and be happy..there are so many of them!!!

Instead of you seeking happiness ,happiness will come looking for you..to be happy we just have to appreciate what we have and not go looking for things that are beyond your reach which can never be yours, how much ever we want it..

So a note to myself..’’Ask yourself what makes you come alive..and seek that for happiness’’..As someone quoted,Happiness is a journey,not a destination..